Over the last few weeks, I’ve slowed down my anxiety and my worries about where my income will come from, and I’ve started to enjoy the break I’ve earned. I finally have the peace and quiet mind I’ve been yearning for for years. I did the math and made sure I’d have enough runway to decompress and enjoy life for a while. At least, that’s the reasoning my mind needed before it would let me relax and just be.
I’ve started to truly feel gratitude every day. I’m grateful for every quiet, slow day, for days I can spend with my dog without rushing back to the laptop, and for time with Trent. I finally have time to breathe. Deep down, I really hope that after this break, I’ll carry this gratitude with me as a permanent background feeling. Life shouldn’t be rushed all the time. But it also seems like I’m here to learn lessons and experience all the possibilities. So it is what it is. Right now, I’m truly enjoying this and feel so grateful to have this freedom.
I’ve also started to focus on work I enjoy, rather than work that only brings in income. I want to use this time to find where the work inside me meets work the world needs and will pay for, with just enough income to keep this peace and freedom for the rest of my life.
Most of all, I’m so thankful that Tsali is getting better after the illness that hit his mobility so hard these past few weeks. He’s back to his normal self, a little slower with age, but playful and bossy again. I’m so thankful. A few weeks ago, I thought we might lose him. Thank God for giving me this precious time to enjoy him and his life.