Journal of Self

This few months, life has been throwing all kinds of challenges at me… a few random things from different directions… I realized that because of my previous challenge 7 years ago with my cancer, going through all the challenges now is more do-able… It is definitely still very difficult and emotional… But since then, I […]

It’s normal to feel pain in your hands and feet, if you are using your feet as feet and your hands as hands. And for a human being to feel stress is normal — If he is living a normal life. And if it’s normal, how can it be bad? Meditations by Marcus Aurelius Book

It doesn’t matter how good a life you’ve led. There’ll still be people standing around the bed who will welcome the sad event. Even with the intelligent and good. Won’t there be someone thinking “Finally! To be through with that old schoolteacher. Even though he never said anything, you could always feel him judging you.”

I have not journaled for a while. During these past months, I had been camping with Trent, started new routine with new job/responsibilities, and … last… relationship with new AirBnB business. I have been busy with the new routine (van life, and new job), it took the time away from me to be able to

At this part of my life, I have learned that all the aspects in life is all about this 1 little step I’m doing at a time… From a small task like working on a van to work life as setting up a team, this small step that I’m doing now is that little step

Noticing the mental noises in me… I learned how to turn it off day by day… Noticing the empty mind, I noticed there is still me… No mind… Just empty space… Still me… That empty space is my sanctuary… That space is where I realized the true peace… And realized more of who I am.

I believe I have found the best spot to camp after a year of traveling and being no mad… The temperature is perfect, the phone service is great, and it is so beautiful and serene. However, even all those are great… Majority of my attention is on my mind… My unstoppable thinking… The anxiety and

Moving around constantly… Not knowing where I will be the next day… I’m so thankful to be able to find my true home again. The home that is permanent, unchanging… The place I can came back and feel the unchangeable… and the comfort of knowing this is where I came from again… Knowing the world

Being present in this hectic and busy work life, I noticed how my body reacts to the problematic situations and the hectic tasks at work. The body keeps doing what it used to do. The tightness in my head, throat, shoulders, and ears. The heart beat keeps going up… The mind also started to replay

Is my intellect up to this? If so, then I’ll put it to work, like a tool provided by nature. And if it isn’t, then I’ll turn the job over to someone who can do it better – unless I have no choice. Or I do the best I can with it, and collaborate with

I have been questioning myself for quite sometime of what I like so much about living this life style? I gradually have been finding the answers. Living this life style, there is a constant change going on. Where can I park? How long I can stay? How can I make sure that my van will

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Translated by Gregory Hays

So far, I have started a new job, started with new investment type (Airbnb), and gotten back living a nomad life again. And again… noticing that all things around me have always changed, I realized that I still can be unmoved by all that. The deep knowing in me that knew that all the circumstances

Sitting outside in the morning at 6 am… What am I grateful for? For this moment that life has brought me to .. to be able to sit in silence here with a few puppies around me… For this moment that I have just realized to breathe in this fresh morning air… For this moment

Your unhappiness ultimately arises not from the circumstances of your life but from the conditioning of your mind. Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle

During the past few weeks, I noticed a lot of tension in me… a lot of discomfort… and I didn’t know why… Yesterday evening, I picked up my book to reread it where I have left of last time… And it goes… The mind exists in a state of “not enough” and so is always

People try to get away from it all – to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within. No where you can go is more peaceful – more free of interruptions – than

Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear. What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure? Whether you go up the ladder or down it, your position is shaky. When you stand with two feet on the ground, you will always keep balance. What does it mean that

Today, Wes, my friend, showed me his memory box with things inside of it. He had it when he was very young… 14 or 15 years old. In the box, there was a picture of him riding a dirt bike with a cap on… No helmet, no gloves. He was probably around 17 or 18

I just have to remember to breath out more… Letting go… Detaching… Not just taking it in but giving it back and letting it out… I realized when I do that, my body gets lighter… The stiffness gets softer… My emotions become more peaceful… And I become more grateful and thankful.

Reflecting on post below, I deeply realize the truth in it… Die before you die… And be ready for it. The post like this reminds me of how to live. Thank you so much for sharing. ลงรูปย้อนหลังวันรดน้ำศพ น้องไปแบบสดใส หน้าตายิ้มแย้ม (อมยิ้มโชว์ฟัน 2 ซี่ด้วย ป๊าเพิ่งแปรงฟันให้โชว์ได้ค่ะ) เป็นการจากไปที่สมบูรณ์แบบที่สุดเท่าที่เด็กคนหนึ่งจะทำได้ สิ่งที่ทางครอบครัวและตัวน้องได้ทำก่อนน้องตายจริง คือการซ้อมเตรียมตัวตายค่ะ ซ้อมบ่อย ก่อนวันตายจริง 1 วัน ลิ้นยังไม่แข็ง ลิ้นยังพูดปกติ(แต่การหายใจของน้องก็เหนื่อยขึ้นมากแล้ว) แม่น้องบอกว่า “น้ำแข็งดูร่างกายนี้นะ เห็นไหม

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

Act without doing; work without effort. Think of the small as large; and the few as many. Confront the difficult while it is still easy; accomplish the great task by a series of small acts. The Master never reaches for the great; thus she achieves greatness. When she runs into a difficulty, she stops and

During these past years, I have realized that I have always been not the one that making a decision in life…. There is always something that guided me, inspired me, or even interrupted me to land me on this path of life. Started from being inspired or motivated by either well thoughtful plans or even

Remembering when I was younger, I used to remind myself and others that we came from nothing and we would go with nothing… So why being greedy… why trying to get more and more. I remember… even saying that myself. I had a bit of negative feeling toward the word “nothing”. It reminded me of

When will you realize that you have enough? Maybe, you have to go to the path of searching… searching for “things” that you think it will make you happy… Until you have tried them all and got all that you thought you need to make you happy… you may have realized that all those “things”

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich. If you stay in the center and embrace death with your whole heart, you will endure forever. tao te ching – #33 translated by Stephen Mitchell

Sitting in silence… I contemplated on what I wanted, where I wanted to be, whom I wanted to be with, and how healthy I wanted to be… Then I realized… I was doing the same thing again. Projecting myself to look for being at peace in the future with a “what if” situation or circumstance

I have been all over places, gone through all the waves of up and down, high and low… However, since I have been more conscious and living more in presence… I always feel that I’m home… home with peace. Noticing all those changes around me in every day and every moment… thoughts, emotions, places, career,