Three months have passed since I moved to Atlanta for work, and overall, my lifestyle here has been going well. I found a comfortable place with full hookups, and I’ve been going into the office at least a couple of times a month. Reconnecting with friends and spending time with them has been one of the best parts.
In the past few weeks, though, I’ve noticed my mind growing muggy again, slipping back into vicious cycles. The anxiety has been intense. I can clearly see that most of the thoughts looping through my head are the same old ones — things that don’t really matter and aren’t worth this level of worry. Yet they feel impossible to control with sheer willpower. The harder I try to force them to stop, the more stress I create, and it starts showing up in my body as aches and pains.
I’m also suspecting this could be connected to perimenopause. The wild anxiety, sweaty hands, and uncontrollable emotions feel like they might be hormonal. When I lose myself in the spiral, I start feeding it even more — obsessively watching news about the tensions between the US and Iran, checking financial updates, adjusting investments “just in case,” and consuming prediction videos from psychics and journalists. All of it builds up the anxiety in my body and mind, until even the smallest work tasks feel unbearably heavy.Again, I caught myself getting lost in it. So I’m reminding myself to step back… and do nothing for a moment. To stop rushing to get everything done or perfectly prepared. Because the truth is, nothing will ever feel completely “done” or “ready.” There will always be the next thing.
So I’m choosing to slow down.
To sit in silence.
To smell the flowers, literally and figuratively.
To come back to my true self — the part of me that nothing can truly scare, shake, or change.
The fearless self that can accept whatever life brings with an open heart.If the only thing I truly need is the appreciation and peace I’ve already found within me, then what is there left to fear? The anxiety may not disappear completely, but at least I now see that most (if not all) of it serves very little real purpose.
Slow down.
Don’t lose yourself in it. That’s the quiet wisdom life keeps teaching me.
