At this point in my life, I seem to be inclined to simply absorb all experiences. Not many words or expressions can truly describe what I feel right now; it’s a very neutral kind of feeling. I don’t feel the urge to translate my emotions into words. However, there’s a deep, deep desire within me to express these feelings, yet I struggle to find words that match the depth of my inner sensations. It’s like… There are so many heartfelt and meaningful feelings, along with a lot of fears and uncertainties, yet everything feels as it should be.
Maybe… this is peace?
I feel that I just enjoy the experiences that pass through my being in this world, those considered good or bad by others. But deep inside, they aren’t good or bad; they just are.
By typing this “out loud,” I’ve reached a conclusion.
This is actually acceptance… or surrendering to what is.
There’s no desire to write a blog post to recount the story of this time in my life, or to judge whether things are going well or not. Deep within, I know it just is… and it seems pointless to put these experiences into words to judge them as good or bad. So lately, I’ve tended not to write much at all.
It feels okay to go through life with all that’s happening to me now, without the need to capture everything in my head or in my journal…
Ironically, writing this much is a reflection of nothingness. There are plenty of eventful situations in life, but also a deep feeling of nothingness… in a good way, in a very peaceful way.