Sitting in silence… I contemplated on what I wanted, where I wanted to be, whom I wanted to be with, and how healthy I wanted to be…
Then I realized… I was doing the same thing again. Projecting myself to look for being at peace in the future with a “what if” situation or circumstance that has to suit… “me”.
So do I really think that all those will happen?… what the chance? If all those don’t happen, what I have projected myself to? … And can I only be at peace with those circumstances? And what am I waiting for?
Then I realized… I’m at peace now… Do I really care at this moment if the cancer comes back in the future… If I will be all by myself the rest of my life… Or if I don’t have any money.
All those those thoughts that tempt me to look for future happy me stop me from being at peace now.
The world is here to proof me that nothing in this world can fully make me feel whole… nothing… if there is one thing that would do, then the lack of that same thing would do the opposite… like the yin and the yang.
When the thoughts subside, the true peacefulness arises. The true peacefulness from the nothingness gets more vivid… the same clarity as when we first born and when we die. We come from nothing and leave from this world to nothing…
We are here to experience this big lesson in the life in this world that keeps pointing us to this peacefulness of the nothingness, which I can say…
The heaven on earth…
