Working from home, sitting outside
Recently, there were 2 incidents that made me realize that I could transcend my strong raising emotions (sadness, and anger) before it fully started to transform to my negative thoughts. Even I am at the ending point of our relationship and we are currently living together…
I noticed myself that when he did some certain thing that typically would make me sad or upset. I now noticed that when I first experienced that kind of situation..
First, my body started to respond to that situation… then my thoughts start to come.
With the heartache incident, I noticed that my head started to get heavy then my heart… then it was a lot of energy around my heart that initiated my thoughts to start coming… First I caught my thought that it started to say something (which I don’t remember now)… in a negative way… only a half of the sentence. Then my awareness said to me that this is not where I want to go… I don’t want to deal with this kind of thoughts anymore…. Then I focused my attention to my breathing… and only felt the feeling inside my body. Suddenly, the heaviness in my heart disappeared.
Another incident (which was last night), there was an incident that typically generates my typical anger…
First, I started to feel the tightness between the side of my head, the tightness inside my chests (which made me start to burb)… then the crazy thoughts started to come… like “He doesn’t care… If I do the same thing… What kind of person he is… “ Then again… I was already so tired of this kind of thoughts and resentment… I put my awareness to my breathing and the feeling inside my body… for this one it took quite some time until all my body conditions; tightness in my head/chests, go away… I experienced that the anger takes more time for it to subsides..
Now… I realized that all of the suffering are, if not all, mostly… self created… from my own body emotions/pains/and my own thoughts…
Thanks to Eckart Tolle for sharing this realization of his to make me realize of it on my own.